My wife asked me to put tomato ketchup on the shopping list that I was writing out... I can't read a f*cking word now!
It's so hard to find the right person these days. All I want is a woman who likes long walks on the beach... It will give her something to do whilst I watch football!
Played frisbee in the park with my dog yesterday... Not much good though. I think I'm going to need a flatter dog!
My wife's not getting much sleep at the moment, she's up every hour breastfeeding. I told her I should grow out of it soon but she's still not happy.
My wife's come back home after her breast reduction operation. And I must say, she looks much better with just the two.
