If You Put Labour In Charge Of The Sahara Desert, In Five Years There Would Be A Shortage Of Sand......
I was in the betting shop and was told to put all my money on a horse called 'Landfill'. Turns out, it was a rubbish tip....
A petrol station owner in Ireland was trying to increase his sales, so he put up a sign that read, 'Free Sex with Fill-Up.' Paddy pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free sex. The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex. Paddy guessed 8, and the proprietor said, 'You were close. The number was 7. Sorry. No sex this time.' A week later, Paddy, along with his friend Mick, pulled in for another fill-up. Again he asked for his free sex. The proprietor again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess the correct number. Paddy guessed 2. The proprietor said, 'Sorry, it was 3. You were close, but no free sex this time.' As they were driving away, Mick said to Paddy, 'I think that game is rigged and he doesn't really give away free sex at all.' Paddy replied, 'No it's genuine enough Mick. My wife won twice last week.'
