Last year, I got so sick of the trick or treaters that I turned the lights off and pretended I wasn't in. Stuff the ships. My lighthouse, my rules…
An elderly couple,Denise and Jeffrey, were watching a Discovery Channel special about a West African bush tribe whose men all had penises 18 inches long. When the black male reaches a certain age, a string is tied around his penis and on the other end is a weight. After a while, the weight stretches the penis to 18 inches. Later that evening as the husband was getting out of the shower, his wife looked at him and said, “How about we try the African string-and-weight procedure?” The husband agreed and they tied a string and a weight to his penis. A few days later, the wife asked the husband, “How is our little tribal experiment coming along?” “Well, it looks like we’re about half way there,” he replied. “Wow, you mean it’s grown to 9 inches?” “No, it’s turned black.
What with Halloween last night i stayed up late and was watching this film with creepy organ music. I suddenly yelled, " Don't enter that church you daft git" " What are you watching?", asked my wife from the kitchen. I replied, " It's our wedding video!".
My buddy is torn between two lovers. One makes incredible pancakes. The other writes beautiful poetry. Not sure if he should marry for batter or for verse?
