Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

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Had a bit of rough sex with the wife last night.
I opened my eyes.

 

Staff at Stonehenge putting the clocks back . . . .

 

Had a box of toy soldiers to play with when I went to bed.I got bored with my captains and sergeants,so I played with my privates instead

 

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Dad is listening to his daughter saying her prayers before bedtime, and she says:

“God bless Mammy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma, and … goodbye Granda.”

Dad asks: “Why did you say that?”

“I don’t know . . . . I just felt like saying it.”

The next day Granda died.

Dad thinks: “Wow . . . . that’s an odd coincidence.”

A month later at bedtime, the daughter prays again:

“God bless Mammy and Daddy . . . . and goodbye Grandma.”

Sure enough, Grandma passes away the very next day.

Now Dad is really worried, but he doesn’t tell his wife, not wanting to upset her.

Months later, at bedtime, the daughter prays once more:

“God bless Mammy”

Then she turns to look directly at him and continues: “and goodbye Daddy.”

Dad is terrified. “What ? Are you sure, honey?”

She nods.

His heart races, he breaks into a sweat, and he can’t sleep at all that night.

The next day at work, he locks himself in his office, cancels meetings, and waits for the inevitable.

Hour after hour passes. Midnight finally comes, and he realises that he’s cheated death !

He drives home, exhausted, nerves shot., and his wife is waiting for him:

“Where the heck were you today ?”

He sighs: “Don’t shout . . . . I’ve had the most miserable day of my life.”

His wife snaps back:

“Miserable . . . . you had a miserable day ? I’m the one who had a miserable day . . . . the milkman dropped dead at the door this morning."