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British Politics spam thread

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by HRH Custard VC, Apr 12, 2022.

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  1. Ponders Revisited

    Ponders Revisited Well-Known Member

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    I couldn't find any clean underpants after my shower last night, so I slept naked.

    Woke up this morning to find a rogue stain on my Egyptian cotton sheet.

    I was apoplectic.
     
    #98781
    Ponders Revisited, Oct 24, 2025 at 8:33 PM
  2. Willhoops

    Willhoops Well-Known Member

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    What?
     
    #98782
    Willhoops, Oct 24, 2025 at 8:36 PM
  3. stopmeandslapme

    stopmeandslapme Well-Known Member

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    Shouldn't wear pants in bed. Let the boys have some free-time.
     
    #98783
    stopmeandslapme, Oct 24, 2025 at 8:44 PM
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  4. Ponders Revisited

    Ponders Revisited Well-Known Member

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    I did, but I regret it now.

    I had to tell the guy in the cleaners it was a Malteser mishap.
     
    #98784
    Ponders Revisited, Oct 24, 2025 at 8:49 PM
  5. stopmeandslapme

    stopmeandslapme Well-Known Member

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    You need looking after.
     
    #98785
    stopmeandslapme, Oct 24, 2025 at 8:51 PM
  6. Ponders Revisited

    Ponders Revisited Well-Known Member

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    I've got my missus looking after me. But if you wanted to pop in a few times a week, mainly in the evenings, I'd pay you for your time. We could watch Minder and eat egg sandwiches. And I'd get the best Ethiopian beans on the go.
     
    #98786
    Ponders Revisited, Oct 24, 2025 at 8:54 PM
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  7. DMD

    DMD Eh? Forum Moderator

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    #98787
    DMD, Oct 24, 2025 at 8:56 PM
  8. Toley Fart

    Toley Fart not606's best fighter

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    #98788
    Toley Fart, Oct 24, 2025 at 9:02 PM
  9. stopmeandslapme

    stopmeandslapme Well-Known Member

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    My missus would like some part-time work. Any chance of you relocating to Leicestershire?

    Interestingly, or not: my telly education of the missus, what with her being forrin...
    We watched the first two episodes of Minder and Lovejoy. She preferred Lovejoy so we watched every episode. Need to return to Minder but she didn't take to it. Have watched the entirety of Auf Wiedersehen Pet, Fawlty Towers, One Foot in the Grave. Just about there with Only Fools and Horses. Peep Show was too much. Via BBC4 on Tuesdays: Porridge, Reginald Perrin, The Good Life, To the Manor Born. Keeping Up Appearances. Also working our way through the best British films.

    I take the task very seriously.
     
    #98789
    Last edited: Oct 24, 2025 at 9:19 PM
    stopmeandslapme, Oct 24, 2025 at 9:03 PM
  10. Ponders Revisited

    Ponders Revisited Well-Known Member

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    I tend to move about between homes, so that could be an issue.

    Maybe I'll buy a little pad in your neck of the woods.
     
    #98790
    Ponders Revisited, Oct 24, 2025 at 9:19 PM
  11. DMD

    DMD Eh? Forum Moderator

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    There seems to be some common ground for the weirdos the lefties defend.

     
    #98791
    DMD, Oct 24, 2025 at 9:21 PM
  12. stopmeandslapme

    stopmeandslapme Well-Known Member

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    Buy my place. I want to relocate either West or East to a place with a few acres.

    PS I added some fascinating detail to that post that you may have missed.
     
    #98792
    stopmeandslapme, Oct 24, 2025 at 9:24 PM
  13. Ponders Revisited

    Ponders Revisited Well-Known Member

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    Does your place have a folly or dovecote?

    I'd also need a solar in addition to two large bedrooms.
     
    #98793
    Ponders Revisited, Oct 24, 2025 at 9:27 PM
  14. stopmeandslapme

    stopmeandslapme Well-Known Member

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    There are pigeons that spend summer evenings fornicating on the fence.
     
    #98794
    stopmeandslapme, Oct 24, 2025 at 9:29 PM
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  15. Easter Road 1980

    Easter Road 1980 Well-Known Member

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    *****houses
     
    #98795
    Easter Road 1980, Oct 24, 2025 at 9:30 PM
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  16. Ponders Revisited

    Ponders Revisited Well-Known Member

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    Would £650k tempt you?
     
    #98796
    Ponders Revisited, Oct 24, 2025 at 9:31 PM
  17. DMD

    DMD Eh? Forum Moderator

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    #98797
    DMD, Oct 24, 2025 at 9:37 PM
  18. stopmeandslapme

    stopmeandslapme Well-Known Member

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    Done :emoticon-0150-hands
     
    #98798
    stopmeandslapme, Oct 24, 2025 at 9:46 PM
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  19. DMD

    DMD Eh? Forum Moderator

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    upload_2025-10-24_22-23-25.png
     
    #98799
    DMD, Oct 24, 2025 at 10:23 PM
    Easter Road 1980 and Diego like this.
  20. Toley Fart

    Toley Fart not606's best fighter

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    upload_2025-10-24_22-54-39.png

    Got this nonce on the run here
     
    #98800
    Toley Fart, Oct 24, 2025 at 10:54 PM
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