A young doctor had moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring. The older doctor suggested that the young one accompany him on his rounds, so the community could become used to a new doctor. At the first house a woman complained, "I've been a little sick to my stomach." The older doctor looked at her and said "To be honest, you've probably been overeating on the fresh fruit. Cut back on the amount you've been eating and see if that does the trick.” As they left, the younger man said, "You didn't even examine that woman? How did you come to the diagnosis so quickly?" "I didn't have to. Did you notice that I accidentally dropped my stethoscope on the floor? When I bent over to pick it up, I noticed a half dozen banana peels in under her bed. That was what probably was making her sick." The younger doctor said "wow that’s clever. Can I try that at the next house." Arriving at the next house, they spent several minutes talking with a younger woman. She said that she just didn't have the energy she once did and said, "I'm feeling terribly run down lately." "You've probably been doing too much for the Synagogue," the younger doctor told her. "Perhaps you should cut back a bit and see if that helps." As they left, the elder doctor said, "I know that woman well. Your diagnosis is almost certainly correct, she's very active in the synagogue but how did you arrive at that diagnosis so quickly?" “Did you notice that I accidentally dropped my stethoscope on the floor? When I bent down to pick it up, I noticed the Rabbi under the bed.
[QUOTE="Wooperts_duck, post: 18717586, member: 1004134 please log in to view this image [/QUOTE] Sorry sir Private Pike Starmer though you said release the sausages so nothing left for the offices mess gulp
The Charge of the Starmer Brigade, Fools to the left of him Idiots to the right of him Whispered and murmured Burping and Trumping Into the abyss of knowing Until right at the end They knew nothing more please log in to view this image
A woman was enjoying a good game of golf with her girlfriends. "Oh, no!" she suddenly exclaimed. "Look at the time! I have to rush home and fix dinner for my husband! He'll be so pissed if it's not ready on time." When she got home, she discovered all she had in the fridge was a wilted lettuce leaf, an egg - and a can of cat food. With no time to go to the supermarket, she opened the can of cat food, stirred in the egg, and garnished it with the lettuce leaf. She greeted her husband warmly when he came home, and then watched in horror as he sat down to his dinner. To her surprise, he seemed to be enjoying it "Darling, this is the best dinner you've made me in 40 years of marriage! You can make this for me any day?" Needless to say, every golf day from then on, the woman made her husband the same dish. She told her golf partners about it, and they were all horrified "You're going to kill him!" they exclaimed. Two months later, her husband died. The women were sitting around the clubhouse and one of them said, "You killed him "We told you that feeding him that cat food every week would do him in! "How can you just sit there so calmly knowing you murdered your husband?" The wife stoically replied, "I didn't kill him. He fell off the windowsill while he was licking his ass."
