The it’s ok to not be ok thread

Montysoptician · Oct 11, 2025 at 12:18 PM

becs said: ↑

I'm still struggling mentally with the loss of the support network I had on RTG and the behaviour of Hetty towards me. She's really affected my mental health and I've been quite low. I keep getting negative thoughts that I would never act on, like when I'm driving on the motorway, it just pops into my head "wouldn't it be class to drive at speed into that bridge" or stuff like that.

Health is a mess right now. Crohn's is playing up, probably because I'm run down. Bladder issue getting worse but I've got another operation date for that on the 27th, so fingers crossed that helps. I've been referred to another consultant about possibly having Sjogren's Syndrome but I'm still on the waiting list for an appointment. I've got terribly dry eyes and a dry mouth, so I'm constantly using eye drops and a mouth spray to try and get relief from that. We're into the silly season with germs and due to being immunosuppressed for the Crohn's, I've had several back to back colds and tummy bugs since the end of August. I'm just knackered all the time and really struggling with work. I can't afford to stop off sick as I'd only get ESA which is about £90 a week and I can't pay all my essential bills and buy food on that.

Been worrying about the boiler as that was long overdue a service. Managed to get that done last week and relieved to find it's in good condition. I also have Raynaud's, so I feel the cold and wouldn't cope well if the heating stopped working over the winter. I've got free boiler emergency cover with my home insurance but they'd only come out and fix the boiler if it has had a service within the last year, so that was invalid until I'd had the service done.

Worrying about the car as it's due a MOT. It's 11 years old and about 115,000 miles on the clock. I know it needs two front tyres as I checked them the other week and they're just this side of legal. I can't afford to replace the car and I'm just hoping it passes with nothing major needing doing to it. I need my car to work as I can't do my job by public transport.

Trying to sort all the niggly things out at home. My kitchen is ancient and falling apart. The drawers are plastic which has cracked on the sides and the runners have broken. It makes opening them difficult as the drawers squeak and drop when you open them, so you have to kind of wiggle them and balance it with one hand while getting out what you need, then wiggle it back in again. I've just managed to buy some drawer boxes and runners so I'll have a go at trying to replace them.

Also been worried about my dog and his recent epilepsy diagnosis. He seems ok on his meds though and hasn't had any further seizures, so fingers crossed that's controlled now. I'd be devastated if anything happened to him.
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There is a lot going on for you at the moment Becs, sometimes life throws curved balls and presents problems that we find difficult to navigate.

You appear to be a very astute person so you will know all about prioritising and gradually working your way though your issues. You will also know that moral support is here if you need it, just reach out

Hopefully everything gets sorted soon, take care

ab65 · Oct 11, 2025 at 1:21 PM

becs said: ↑

I'm still struggling mentally with the loss of the support network I had on RTG and the behaviour of Hetty towards me. She's really affected my mental health and I've been quite low. I keep getting negative thoughts that I would never act on, like when I'm driving on the motorway, it just pops into my head "wouldn't it be class to drive at speed into that bridge" or stuff like that.

Health is a mess right now. Crohn's is playing up, probably because I'm run down. Bladder issue getting worse but I've got another operation date for that on the 27th, so fingers crossed that helps. I've been referred to another consultant about possibly having Sjogren's Syndrome but I'm still on the waiting list for an appointment. I've got terribly dry eyes and a dry mouth, so I'm constantly using eye drops and a mouth spray to try and get relief from that. We're into the silly season with germs and due to being immunosuppressed for the Crohn's, I've had several back to back colds and tummy bugs since the end of August. I'm just knackered all the time and really struggling with work. I can't afford to stop off sick as I'd only get ESA which is about £90 a week and I can't pay all my essential bills and buy food on that.

Been worrying about the boiler as that was long overdue a service. Managed to get that done last week and relieved to find it's in good condition. I also have Raynaud's, so I feel the cold and wouldn't cope well if the heating stopped working over the winter. I've got free boiler emergency cover with my home insurance but they'd only come out and fix the boiler if it has had a service within the last year, so that was invalid until I'd had the service done.

Worrying about the car as it's due a MOT. It's 11 years old and about 115,000 miles on the clock. I know it needs two front tyres as I checked them the other week and they're just this side of legal. I can't afford to replace the car and I'm just hoping it passes with nothing major needing doing to it. I need my car to work as I can't do my job by public transport.

Trying to sort all the niggly things out at home. My kitchen is ancient and falling apart. The drawers are plastic which has cracked on the sides and the runners have broken. It makes opening them difficult as the drawers squeak and drop when you open them, so you have to kind of wiggle them and balance it with one hand while getting out what you need, then wiggle it back in again. I've just managed to buy some drawer boxes and runners so I'll have a go at trying to replace them.

Also been worried about my dog and his recent epilepsy diagnosis. He seems ok on his meds though and hasn't had any further seizures, so fingers crossed that's controlled now. I'd be devastated if anything happened to him.
Click to expand...

Bloody hell becs, that’s an awful lot to be dealing with all at the same time.

All I can offer is what was suggested to a now departed mate when he had a similar (albeit not as all encompassing as yours seems to be) situation to yours.

The priority has to be your health, if you can get that sorted the other things can be sorted as well. Others have suggested that you may be able to claim some assistance for it. Is there a GP/Health Professional who can point you in the right direction ?

My mate was advised to deal with things in a sort of bite size priority order, so in your case it could be health, then the immediate practical implications of sorting your heating and car as you will need to have those both working properly.

Hope things turn for the better for you soon.

King Kareoke · Oct 11, 2025 at 1:32 PM

becs said: ↑

I'm still struggling mentally with the loss of the support network I had on RTG and the behaviour of Hetty towards me. She's really affected my mental health and I've been quite low. I keep getting negative thoughts that I would never act on, like when I'm driving on the motorway, it just pops into my head "wouldn't it be class to drive at speed into that bridge" or stuff like that.

Health is a mess right now. Crohn's is playing up, probably because I'm run down. Bladder issue getting worse but I've got another operation date for that on the 27th, so fingers crossed that helps. I've been referred to another consultant about possibly having Sjogren's Syndrome but I'm still on the waiting list for an appointment. I've got terribly dry eyes and a dry mouth, so I'm constantly using eye drops and a mouth spray to try and get relief from that. We're into the silly season with germs and due to being immunosuppressed for the Crohn's, I've had several back to back colds and tummy bugs since the end of August. I'm just knackered all the time and really struggling with work. I can't afford to stop off sick as I'd only get ESA which is about £90 a week and I can't pay all my essential bills and buy food on that.

Been worrying about the boiler as that was long overdue a service. Managed to get that done last week and relieved to find it's in good condition. I also have Raynaud's, so I feel the cold and wouldn't cope well if the heating stopped working over the winter. I've got free boiler emergency cover with my home insurance but they'd only come out and fix the boiler if it has had a service within the last year, so that was invalid until I'd had the service done.

Worrying about the car as it's due a MOT. It's 11 years old and about 115,000 miles on the clock. I know it needs two front tyres as I checked them the other week and they're just this side of legal. I can't afford to replace the car and I'm just hoping it passes with nothing major needing doing to it. I need my car to work as I can't do my job by public transport.

Trying to sort all the niggly things out at home. My kitchen is ancient and falling apart. The drawers are plastic which has cracked on the sides and the runners have broken. It makes opening them difficult as the drawers squeak and drop when you open them, so you have to kind of wiggle them and balance it with one hand while getting out what you need, then wiggle it back in again. I've just managed to buy some drawer boxes and runners so I'll have a go at trying to replace them.

Also been worried about my dog and his recent epilepsy diagnosis. He seems ok on his meds though and hasn't had any further seizures, so fingers crossed that's controlled now. I'd be devastated if anything happened to him.
Click to expand...

That is really tough @becs. Hopefully even writing it down has helped. There are not as many on here but are very supportive - I agree RTG can be supportive as it was or me. Just keep reaching out on here - someone will always respond

The it’s ok to not be ok thread

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The it’s ok to not be ok thread

Montysoptician Well-Known Member

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