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Off Topic Jokes thread

Discussion in 'Portsmouth' started by devonFRATTONiser, Jan 25, 2015.

  1. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    Not saying I'm antisocial but...
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    #37661
  2. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #37662
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  3. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #37663
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  4. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #37664
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #37665
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #37667
  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Jack goes to his buddy Bob and says ... "I'm sleeping with Alan's wife. Can you hold him in bar for an hour for me?" The friend doesn't like it but being a buddy, he agrees.
    Bob starts talking to Alan, asking him all sorts of questions, just to keep him occupied. Finally Alan gets annoyed and asks him what he's really up to.
    Bob feeling guilty, finally confesses to the Alan... "My friend is sleeping with your wife right now, so he asked me to keep you occupied."
    Alan smiles, puts a brotherly hand on Bob's shoulder and says... "You better hurry home now. My wife died a year ago!”
     
    #37668
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  9. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  10. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  11. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    Nothing better than the old school trip !!!

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  12. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    our grandma wore mini skirts, thin panties, high boots, and no bra.
    – She blasted Led Zeppelin, The Beatles, Janis Joplin, and The Rolling Stones.
    – She tore through the streets on motorcycles and fast cars.
    – She smoked tobacco… and other things.
    – She downed gin tonics, whiskey, and whatever else was on the table.
    – She came home at 4 a.m. and still showed up for work in the morning.
    Face it—your grandma was cooler than you’ll ever be.
    Excuse me, but someone had to say it!


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  13. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  14. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  15. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  16. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  17. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    NEVILLE: “It’s bullshit from me.”
    LINEKER: “And it’s bullshit from him.”
    BOTH: “Goodnight”.
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    #37677

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