The wife said that she wanted to have sex in the back of the car . . . . I got all excited until she said that she wanted me to drive
I slipped the condom over my erect c*ck. Unrolling it down my shaft, while keeping eye-contact I said, "Yes, this fits. I'll take the packet."
I said to my mate, "Did you know that 75% of men stick their fingers up their arse whilst in the shower? Do you know what the other 25% do?" He said, "No, What?" I said, "You dirty b*stard!"