What day of the week is it thread

My wife asked if she could have a little peace and quiet while she cooked dinner...

So I took the battery out the smoke alarm

 

I got in touch with my inner self this morning.

That's the last time I buy Tesco value toilet rolls.

 

Remember when Botox was a taboo subject?

Now when you mention it, nobody raises an eyebrow!

 

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I went to a French restaurant last night and I ordered Napoleon chicken for the first time.

When It came there was no meat just the carcass.

I said to the waitress: "What's this?!!"

"She said: "It's the boney part".

 

Celebrity Fact:

Much is known about the great Diana Dors, but not so much is known about her sister Erin.

Except she never went out much....