Little Alan, normally the noisiest in class was unusually quiet, so the teacher asked him "What's the problem, Alan ?" He replied "It's my granda . . . . he got burned yesterday." The teacher said "That's sad . . . . is it bad ?" Alan replied "Well they don't **** about at the Crematorium !"
Respect is taught at home. If your child is a disrepectful little git, it's your fault. Not society's, not video games, not music, not the teacher's . . . . YOURS !
My wife asked for a little peace and quiet while she cooked dinner . . . . so I took the battery out of the smoke alarm !
I got in touch with my inner self this morning . . . . that's the last time that I buy toilet rolls from Aldi !
Last week I was helping my Gran, who is partially deaf, to tidy her bungalow, and I kept finding wads of money pushed down the backs of chairs and stuffed into rolled up socks. When I asked her why she’d done this she said that her financial advisor had told her to put her savings into socks and chairs !