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Off Topic Jokes thread

Discussion in 'Portsmouth' started by devonFRATTONiser, Jan 25, 2015.

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  1. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #37381
    antipodean exile, Sep 26, 2025 at 2:01 AM
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  2. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #37382
    antipodean exile, Sep 26, 2025 at 2:02 AM
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  3. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #37383
    antipodean exile, Sep 26, 2025 at 2:02 AM
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  4. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #37384
    antipodean exile, Sep 26, 2025 at 2:04 AM
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  5. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #37385
    antipodean exile, Sep 26, 2025 at 2:09 AM
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    So with colder weather coming and the price of fuel increasing, I've started to soak my logs in Green alcohol.

    Well, you know what they say -

    " Absinthe makes the hearth glow longer"
     
    #37386
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 26, 2025 at 10:41 AM
  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Welsh police are looking for a group of men after several people were attacked with wooden fence posts..

    The public should keep an eye out for the Tenby Four.
     
    #37387
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 26, 2025 at 10:42 AM
  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I went to the cinema last night and saw a film about a tea plantation in India.

    It was rated PG
     
    #37388
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 26, 2025 at 10:43 AM
  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Doctor: Describe your average night.

    Me: They wear armour.

    Doctor: No. I mean at bedtime.

    Me: They probably take it off.
     
    #37389
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 26, 2025 at 10:44 AM
  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    My best friend moved away and became a mime artist.

    I've not heard from him since...
     
    #37390
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 26, 2025 at 10:45 AM

  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Had a really lovely ploughman's lunch today.

    Blimey, could'nt he run fast...
     
    #37391
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 26, 2025 at 10:49 AM
  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Remember when Botox was a taboo subject?

    Now when you mention it, nobody raises an eyebrow!
     
    #37392
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 26, 2025 at 10:53 AM
  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I got in touch with my inner self this morning.

    That's the last time I buy Tesco value toilet rolls.
     
    #37393
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 26, 2025 at 10:57 AM
  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #37394
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 26, 2025 at 11:08 AM
  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    My wife asked if she could have a little peace and quiet while she cooked dinner...

    So I took the battery out the smoke alarm
     
    #37395
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 26, 2025 at 11:09 AM
  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #37396
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 26, 2025 at 11:12 AM
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