The CEO of IKEA was just elected Prime Minister in Sweden. He should have his cabinet together by the end of the weekend.
I went a restaurant last night. I ordered my starter, and the waiter wacked me across me face. I ordered the main meal, and he came over again and walloped me. I ordered dessert, and he lamped me one again.... That’s the last time I go out for a slap up meal.
I’m so embarrassed about accidentally locking myself in a cabinet at the museum. I made a real exhibition of myself...
Scientists say, that one day, it might be possible to live on Mars. What a load of rubbish ! I tried it for a month, and gained nearly 3 stones in weight and developed type 2 diabetes !
Last week I was helping my partially deaf Nan move home, and I kept on finding wads of money pushed down the backs of chairs and stuffed into rolled up socks. When I asked her why she’d done this she said that her financial adviser had told her that she should put her savings into socks and chairs..
