Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

After taking a photo of my dad with the fish he just caught, he told me to throw it in the river.
Totally ruined his camera.

 

Two rabbits escape from a research laboratory and find themselves in a field full of carrots, The rabbits cannot believe their luck and they begin eating until they fall asleep.
The next day the young rabbit says to the old rabbit " I think it's time to head back to the lab".
The old rabbit suggests they see whats in the next field, They find an entire field of cabbages and begin eating.
The next day the young rabbit asks to go back to the lab, The old rabbit suggests seeing what is in the other field and once they crawl under the fence they find an entire field full of female rabbits.
After an entire day of ****ing everything in sight the next day the old rabbit turns to the young rabbit and says " I think its time to head back to the lab"
The young rabbit asks "Why the hell would you want to go back to the lab we have two fields full of vegetables and the other is filled with female rabbits what more could you want?!"
The older rabbit replies,
"I'm dying for a ***."

 

So not in New Zealand then?

 

A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognised it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier:

He said to the female whale. "Let's both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink."

They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank.

Soon, however, the whales realised the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of the shore.

The male was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female "let's swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore."

At this point, he realised the female was becoming reluctant to follow him.

"Look." She said "I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen."

 

Bananarama were an English pop group formed in London in 1980. They had ten UK top 10 singles including "Venus" and "Robert De Niro’s Waiting"
They now run a cleaning business called Glitter and Grime which has the tag line..
"I’m your cleaner, I’m for hire, at your desire!!"

 

Tube strike starts to bite as two commuters accidentally make eye contact in street.

 

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I was driving along when my wife asked me "What are those rumble strips on the road for ?"
I replied "They're to let blind driver's know that they're coming up to a roundabout."
She said "That's a good idea."

 

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