I was very good at selling security alarms door to door... If no one was home, I'd leave a brochure on the kitchen table...
My wife just called the house phone. "I've broken down on the M25, just before junction 6" she panicked. "Just wait there" I said, "I'll be about 10 minutes." After finishing my sh*te, I took the receiver off the table and said, "Right, you've done what?
Crashed my car today and ended up between two houses. In the left house lived Mr and Mrs Smith and in the right house lived Mr and Mrs Ball. Luckily I was dragged out by the Smiths.
If dentists make their money off people with bad teeth, why should I trust a toothpaste that 9 out of 10 dentists recommend
The police knocked on my door yesterday. "Where were you between 4 and 6 ?" He demanded. "Junior school" I replied.