Jokes

BRILLIANT MATE

 

Actually when I saw that photo I thought, she actually looks like a Catherine Tate character.

 

Nothing is made in Oz any more. I've just bought a new TV. It say on the box 'Built in Antenna'. I don't even know where Antenna is

 

i love it Mick and im stealing that one

 

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and here is my manservant with the proof

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Paddy & Murphy are in a pub when a women starts choking.

As she starts to go blue Paddy rushes over & goes behind her, whips up her skirt, pulls her knickers down & runs his tongue up & down between the cheeks of her arse!

The horrified woman gasps & spits out the food. Murphy says "well done Paddy i've heard of the hind lick manouvre but that's the 1st time i've seen it done!!"

 

I have just started reading a book called 'Swimming The English Channel'

written by Francis Near.

 

Be my guest Roger

 

A rather discriminatory post. There may be a formal complaint from across the Irish Sea.

 

The best Swedish attacker at Anfield since Stan Collymore

 

There's **** all wrong with Shako, he's my mate, hes as happy as a pig in ****, especially with a pint in front of him

 

Send me that on WhatsApp please mate

 

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I was in Lidl today and saw a young mother hitch up her trousers over her arse, take a *** out of her mouth and yell ‘Doive!!!’

’.8 young boys, all under the age of 10, appeared as if from nowhere.

I had to ask her ‘are all your boys called Dave’?’
‘
‘Yeah’ she replied ‘It saves me time calling ‘em. But who the ****’s asking?’

I kept it polite: ‘interesting, but what do you do if you want only one or two of them?’ I asked

‘then I call ‘em by their surnames’. She replied.