Andre Onana tried to withdraw cash. He realised he hadn’t saved anything....... please log in to view this image
An elderly gentleman goes for a check-up. After his exam the doctor said to the to the old fella, "You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concerns you would like to ask me about?" "In fact, I do," said the old man. "After I have sex I am usually hot and sweaty, and then, after I have it with her the second time, I am usually cold and chilly." After examining the old man's elderly wife, the doctor said, "Everything appears to be fine. Do you have any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me?" The lady replied that she had no questions or concerns. But the doctor then said to her: "Your husband had an unusual concern. He claims that he is usually hot and sweaty after having sex with you the first time, and then cold and chilly after the second time Do you know why?" "Oh that crazy old bastard, she replied. "That's because the first time is usually in August, and the second time is in January...".
Lots of tears today. Crying about shoes hurting, clinging to my leg at the school gate. Not sure why my wife trained as a teacher!
I had a job at a Cadbury's factory putting fudge bars into boxes. I had to quit though because every time someone would walk past they would say, "Oh packing fudge are we?" Or "Hey up, he's packing fudge again." Since then I've applied for a job in a clothing factory lifting boxes of shirts. I'm hoping the name calling will stop now.
A vicar gets on a train. In his carriage are a group of five fine looking young ladies. To break the ice, the vicar offers round his bag of Werther's Original and then asks, "So, what do you young ladies do?" "We do panto. We are currently starring in Dick Whittington!" reply the girls. "That's fabulous. Which parts do you take?" The first lady says, "I take the part of the cat." The second lady continues, "I take the part of Buttons." "Really?" asks the vicar. "Who takes Dick?" "We all do!" says the third girl, "but it'll cost you a lot more than a Werther's Original!!
Heard a rumour Cadburys are producing chop suey flavoured chocolate bars. Probably just Chinese Wispas.
