I was telling my mate about how uncomfortable the buses are and he said “Did you come on the bus, then ?” I said “Well I did, but I made it look like an asthma attack.”
Most people on here are probably old enough to understand this . . . . please log in to view this image
I said to the lad in Tesco ‘is it true you carry customers shopping to their car free of charge?’ He said ‘we do’. As we got to my car I said ‘I only asked you to do it because I’m lazy’. He said ‘I realise that. Here’s your f*cking Twix.
The doctor said that my sugar was too high, so when I got home I moved it to a lower shelf . . . . it's easier to reach now.
