The police are always taking people down to the station and asking them questions. They should just hire smarter police.
There have been lots of tears today . . . . crying about shoes hurting, clinging to my leg at the school gate ! I'm not sure why my wife wanted to be a teacher
A married couple are driving along a motorway doing a steady 40 miles per hour, with the husband behind the wheel, and his wife suddenly looks across at him and speaks in a clear voice, saying “I know that we've been married for over twenty years, but I want a divorce.” The husband says nothing, keeps looking at the road ahead, but slowly increases his speed to 45mph. The wife speaks again “I don’t want you to try to talk me out of it.” She continues “It's because I’ve been having an affair with your best friend, and he is a far better lover than you are.” Again the husband stays quiet, but grips the steering wheel more tightly and slowly increases the speed to 55mph. She pushes her luck. “I want the house.” Up to 60 mph “I want the car, too.” She continues. 65mph.“and,” she says, “I’ll have the yacht.” The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge. This makes her nervous, so she asks him “Isn’t there anything that you want ?” The husband at last replies in a quiet and controlled voice. “No . . . . I’ve got everything that I need, ” he says. “Oh, really” she inquires “What's that ?” Just before they slam into the wall at 65mph, the husband turns to her and smiles. “The airbag.”
My dog swallowed an entire bag of Scrabble tiles, so I took him to the vets to get him checked out. No word yet !
I was once cast as Oliver in the silent version of "Oliver" It was brilliant . . . . I couldn't ask for more !
I met a girl at school, who became my girlfriend for a short while. We used to meet in physics, history, geography & biology, but it didn’t last . . . . there was no chemistry !