BREAKING: Italian manager Samuele Allardycini has put his name forward for the Man United job. please log in to view this image
During my wife's labour, the nurse came up to me and said, "How about Epidural Anaesthesia?" I said, "Thanks, but we've already picked a name."
I was in a pub quiz last night and one of the questions was: What have Nicole Kidman, Kylie Minogue and Julia Roberts got in common? Apparently, women who I've masturbated to was not the answer.