1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

Off Topic Jokes thread

Discussion in 'Portsmouth' started by devonFRATTONiser, Jan 25, 2015.

Page 1843 of 1844
  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    160,170
    Likes Received:
    295,780
    please log in to view this image
     
    #36841
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 22, 2025 at 2:21 PM
    antipodean exile likes this.
  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    160,170
    Likes Received:
    295,780
    Despite getting A.B.B.A. in my recent exam results, no employer will take a chance on me.....
     
    #36842
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 22, 2025 at 2:35 PM
    antipodean exile likes this.
  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    160,170
    Likes Received:
    295,780
    My mate was a Kleptomaniac and a sex pest. He went around pinching peoples bums
    please log in to view this image
     
    #36843
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 22, 2025 at 2:40 PM
    antipodean exile likes this.
  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    160,170
    Likes Received:
    295,780
    "Fire in the hole!" I shouted.

    As I picked up the Deep Heat instead of Anusol
     
    #36844
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 22, 2025 at 3:40 PM
    antipodean exile likes this.
  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    160,170
    Likes Received:
    295,780
    I wonder if songbirds get mad at hummingbirds for not knowing the words.....
     
    #36845
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 22, 2025 at 3:49 PM
    antipodean exile and devonFRATTONiser like this.
  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    160,170
    Likes Received:
    295,780
    If you want your old fridge taken away by the council fast and free. Paint the English flag on it and it will be gone with in the day!.. follow me for more pro tips.....
    please log in to view this image
     
    #36846
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 22, 2025 at 4:03 PM
    antipodean exile likes this.
  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    160,170
    Likes Received:
    295,780
    Little known fact!

    Richard Gere’s dad was Gottler, a Swedish ventriloquist.....
     
    #36847
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 22, 2025 at 4:11 PM
    antipodean exile and devonFRATTONiser like this.
  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    160,170
    Likes Received:
    295,780
    They scoffed when I told them one day I would learn the secret of invisibility...

    If only they could see me now!
     
    #36848
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 22, 2025 at 4:16 PM
    antipodean exile and devonFRATTONiser like this.
  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    160,170
    Likes Received:
    295,780
    My local butcher asked if I would like some cured ham.

    I said, "Frankly I'd like some that hasn't been ill in the first place".
     
    #36849
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 22, 2025 at 4:30 PM
    antipodean exile likes this.
  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    160,170
    Likes Received:
    295,780
    VW have just launched an electric vehicle for Yorkshire people.

    They have called it the E-Up !
     
    #36850
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 22, 2025 at 5:27 PM
    antipodean exile likes this.

  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    160,170
    Likes Received:
    295,780
    please log in to view this image
     
    #36851
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 22, 2025 at 5:33 PM
    antipodean exile and devonFRATTONiser like this.
  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    160,170
    Likes Received:
    295,780
    please log in to view this image
     
    #36852
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 22, 2025 at 10:33 PM
    antipodean exile likes this.
  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    160,170
    Likes Received:
    295,780
    please log in to view this image
     
    #36853
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 22, 2025 at 10:35 PM
    antipodean exile and devonFRATTONiser like this.
  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    160,170
    Likes Received:
    295,780
    please log in to view this image
     
    #36854
    Wooperts_duck, Aug 22, 2025 at 10:38 PM
    antipodean exile likes this.
  15. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    34,997
    Likes Received:
    34,283
    please log in to view this image
     
    #36855
    antipodean exile, Aug 23, 2025 at 2:54 AM
  16. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    34,997
    Likes Received:
    34,283
    please log in to view this image
     
    #36856
    antipodean exile, Aug 23, 2025 at 3:01 AM
  17. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    34,997
    Likes Received:
    34,283
    please log in to view this image
     
    #36857
    antipodean exile, Aug 23, 2025 at 3:05 AM
  18. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    34,997
    Likes Received:
    34,283
    please log in to view this image
     
    #36858
    antipodean exile, Aug 23, 2025 at 3:06 AM
  19. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    34,997
    Likes Received:
    34,283
    please log in to view this image
     
    #36859
    antipodean exile, Aug 23, 2025 at 3:13 AM
  20. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2012
    Messages:
    34,997
    Likes Received:
    34,283
    please log in to view this image
     
    #36860
    antipodean exile, Aug 23, 2025 at 3:14 AM
Page 1843 of 1844

Share This Page