I must be the unluckiest person in the world??? I have just found a wage packet outside Morrisons, and the b*stard had had 3 days off
A Scotsman appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. "Have you ever done anything in your life of particular merit?", Saint Peter asked. "Well, I can think of one thing", the Scotsman replied. "On a trip to the outskirts of Glasgow , I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman. I asked them to leave her alone but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest and most tattooed biker and smacked him in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground. I yelled, 'Now, back off or I'll kick the **** out of all of you!' " St. Peter was impressed, "When did this happen?" "A couple of minutes ago."..