A man Is laying in bed in the hospital wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath. "Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?" Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet." He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?" Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other. She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine." The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very closely: Are - my - test - results - back?"
Ole is a farmer in Minnesota. He needs a new milk cow, and hears about one for sale over in Nordakota. (That would be North Dakota for you non-Scandahoovians out der.) He drives to Nordakota, finds the farm and looks at the cow. He reaches under to see if she gives milk. When he grabs the tit and pulls, the cow farts. Ole is surprised. He looks at the farmer selling the cow, then reaches under the cow to try again. He grabs another tit, pulls, and the cow farts again. Milk does come out however, so after some discussion, Ole buys the cow and takes her home. He gets back to Minnesota, and calls over his neighbor Jimmy Mooney, and says, “Jimmy, come look at dis ere new cow I yust bought. Pull her tit, and see vat happens.” So Jimmy reaches under, pulls the tit – and the cow farts. Jimmy looks at Ole and sez, “You bought dis here cow in Nordakota, din’t yah?” Ole is surprised since he hadn’t told Jimmy about his trip. Ole replies, “Yah, dats right. But how’d yah know?” Jimmy says, “My wife’s from Nordakota
Don’t particularly like a steak too rare, but I always ask for it because so many chefs over cook medium steak. I’ll tolerate the occasional too rare steak in order to guarantee no shoe leather.
A parabolic reflector is a concave, dish-shaped surface that reflects incoming electromagnetic or sound waves to a focal point, or conversely, emits parallel waves from a source at the focus. This reflective property is due to its parabolic shape, which ensures that all incoming parallel rays converge at a single point, or that waves emitted from the focal point spread out in parallel lines.
Cheers Jabbo, can I take it that you would have marked my answer "a mirror that a member of the Parachute Brigade uses to inspect his testicles" wrong as well?
I don’t know if anyone buys these gummy sweets but I saw this warning posted. How what is happening is legal, I have know idea. Parents have been warned not to give their kids a specific brand of gummies, as they contain prescription medication. The Medicines and Healthcare products Regulatory Agency is working to pull Nutrition Ignition Kids Magnesium Glycinate Gummies from sale. Tests found each sweet has 1.5 to 1.7mg of synthetic melatonin which is not listed on the packaging. If prescribed, the recommended starting dose for children is 1mg. Taking too much can cause drowsiness, headaches and nausea. Safety officer Dr Alison Cave said: “Parents and caregiver should stop using these.”
