Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

I said to my wife last night, "Do you fancy going to a different bar for a drink?"
She said, "Yeah, I'll get my jacket."
I said, "Good, because I think I'm in with that blonde with the big t*ts stood at the bar."

 

Got a note through my door today that read, "Meet me 8pm tonight behind the bus garage if you like having your c*ck sucked - signed Kinky School Girl xxx"
So I went there, waited for ages. No one turned up.
Went back home. My house had been burgled.

 

I lost my job today at NASA MISSION CONTROL.
I misheard when they said....
"It's lunch time."

 

OLE & LENA JOKE:
Both Ole and Sven wanted some money, so they went to the bank for a loan. Sven went in first. "I want $10,000!"
"What do you do for a living?" asked the manager.
"I'm a pilot!" said Sven.
"Well, that is a good profession!" said the manager, so he gave him the money.
Then Ole went in and said, "I want $10,000 too!"
"Well, what do you do for a living?" asked the manager.
"I'm a lumberjack," he replied.
"Well, I can't give a lumberjack that kind of money," said the manager.
"Well, what's the deal with that, if I don't cut the wood, Sven can't pile it."

 

So warm today that even Prince Andrew is sweating.