Little Johnny watched his Daddy's car pass by the school playground and turn into the woods. Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace. Little Johnny found this so exciting that he could hardly contain himself as he ran home and started to tell his mother. “Mum, I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, and then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his trousers off, then Aunt Jane......” At this point Mummy cut him off and said, “Johnny, this is such an interesting story, suppose you save the rest of it for supper time. I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight.” At the dinner table that evening, Mummy asked little Johnny to tell his story. Johnny started his story, “I was at the playground, and I saw my Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a Big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his trousers off, then Aunt Jane and Daddy started doing the same thing that Mummy and Uncle Bill used to do when Daddy goes away on a trip.” Mummy threw up!
Little Johnny watched his Daddy's car pass by the school playground and turn into the woods. Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace. Little Johnny found this so exciting that he could hardly contain himself as he ran home and started to tell his mother. “Mum, I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, and then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his trousers off, then Aunt Jane......” At this point Mummy cut him off and said, “Johnny, this is such an interesting story, suppose you save the rest of it for supper time. I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight.” At the dinner table that evening, Mummy asked little Johnny to tell his story. Johnny started his story, “I was at the playground, and I saw my Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a Big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his trousers off, then Aunt Jane and Daddy started doing the same thing that Mummy and Uncle Bill used to do when Daddy goes away on a trip.” Mummy threw up!
Paddy and Mick are at a job interview for a labourer by a builder, Paddy goes first and is asked, "If you lost an eye, what would you be?" He answers, "Half blind." Then he was asked, "What would you be if you lost both eyes?" He answers, "Blind."... Builder says, "Great, you got the job - send Mick in." Mick over heard the interview and thinks, "Great, I'll just give the same answers." The builder asks, "If you lost an ear, what would you be?" Mick says, "Half blind." Then was asked, "What about if you lost both ears?" Mick says, "Blind." The builder, a bit puzzled, asked, "How would that be?" Mick says, "My hat would slip down!!..
Little Red Riding Hood is walking through the woods to visit her granny when she hears a rustling noise in the bushes. " Who's there?" she says, and The Wolf scampers off. She walks on a short way and hears the rustling again. "Who's there? Is that you, Big Bad Wolf?" she asks, and The Wolf scampers off again. She walks further on and hears the rustling yet again. "Is that you Big Bad Wolf?" And the Big Bad Wolf says, "I wish you'd f*ck off, I'm trying to have a sh*t !".
I was diagnosed today by my doctor, who seems to be obsessed with Tina Turner . . . . she said “you’re simply depressed”
A teacher was teaching her class about the difference between right & wrong. "Let's take an example. If I were to get into a man's pocket & take his wallet with all his money, what would I be?" A little boy raises his hand and with a confident smile, says, "You'd be his wife!"
I didn't think that my uncle liked me but apparently he has left me a large building in his will. Does anyone know where Sod Hall is ?
