The family dog has been very aggressive lately. My son suggested getting his balls chopped.. I don't know what good that has done. Now I have an aggressive dog and a son with no bollocks
My wife turned to me and said, "I'm horny, want to go upstairs?" Smiling, I said, "Definitely!" She replied, "Great. Throw my dildo down while you're up there!"
My wife asked me "do you ever think of me when you masturbate or do you just watch these tarts in filthy pornos?" I said, "love, of course I think of you..." She smiled. "...I think 'why doesn't my wife do what the tarts in this filthy porno are doing?'"
A man staggered into a hospital with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes, and a five iron wrapped tightly around His throat. Naturally, the Doctor asked him, "What happened to YOU?" "Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our golf balls into a field of cattle. We went to look for them and while I was looking around I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end." "I walked over, lifted its tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on it - stuck right in the middle of the cow's arse. Still holding the cow's tail up, I yelled to my wife, "Hey, this looks like yours!'" "I don't remember much after that!"
