Off Topic And Now for Something Completely Different

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift.

The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.

Every word out of the bird’s mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.

John tried and tried to change the bird’s attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and doing anything else he could think of to ‘clean up’ the bird’s vocabulary.

Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot.

The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder.

John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.

For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed.

Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.

Fearing that he’d hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer.

The parrot calmly stepped out onto John’s outstretched arms and said

“I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I’m sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behaviour.”

John was stunned at the change in the bird’s attitude.

As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behaviour, the bird spoke-up, up very softly,

“May I ask what the turkey did?”

 

Let's be honest.

Here is the whole (tiny) problem...

 

Hope you're not planning a US trip in the next three and a half years.


The views expressed in my posts are not necessarily mine.

 

To be fair I was probably persona non grata before the Tangerine Mussolini started waving his tiny dick around.

 

And what did the young kids they murdered and kidnapped on October 7th have to do with anything?

 

Mine was green...

 

Seen elsewhere (well Facebook)...

 

The allegation of him using racist language while singing Gold Digger at karaoke was not upheld and dismissed.

Another incident of him using the N word was, from the reporting on the BBC.

 

Yorkshire Tourist Board goes Lo-Fi...

 

Had a day trip there with Mrs Two a few years ago, nice place.


The views expressed in my posts are not necessarily mine. ​

 

I guess when you are from east hull, anywhere is nice






































Only joking...


































Maybe!

 

I'll recover, eventually.


The views expressed in my posts are not necessarily mine.

 

Back in the day Goole made Selby look like prime West Hull Villages, is that not the case anymore or is Goole an even bigger ****hole?!

 

Apparently the trial of the men fighting at Manchester Airport last year is taking place right now not that you would know from watching the regular news channels.

Part of their defence is that they didn't know the people they were fighting with were police and they were fighting for their life's as they were in fear of being killed, among other equally laughable suggestions.

 

I've been checking on it's progress in the Manchester Evening News every night....

It's going to be an interesting outcome!!