Why men prefer to watch football in pubs or cafes.... Wife: Where are you going? Husband: Watch the game at the pub. Wife: Why don't you watch it with me? Husband: I want to watch it with my friends. Wife: So I mean nothing to you? Husband: OK, OK. I am staying. Wife: Why is the goalkeeper in black? Husband: He is mourning his mother. Wife: The commentator how does he know all the names? Husband: It's his job. Wife: There's a goal. Husband: No, it's an offside. Wife: What is offside? Husband: No, it's a goal. Just kidding. Wife: OK, but what is offside? Husband: Offside is the name of the Coach. Wife: Where's the Coach? Husband: He is off the field. Wife: Why isn't he playing? Husband: No, he doesn't play. He changes the players and the game tactics. Wife: Tell me, is Maradona there? Husband: No, he dîed. Wife: Oh my God, how? Husband: He watched a game with his wife. That's how the fight started.
Whatever you do, try not to sneeze during sex. Most couples don't like to discover that they're being watched!!.
When I heard intruders in the house, my first thought was for my son.I tip-toed silently into his room, quietly woke him up and whispered, "There's some people in the house.... Do you remember the 'hiding' game?"He nodded his understanding, and together we picked up our cricket bats and went downstairs to give the f*ckers a good hiding.
