Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

Spotted at the Coldplay concert.

 

Why men prefer to watch football in pubs or cafes....
Wife:
Where are you going?
Husband:
Watch the game at the pub.
Wife:
Why don't you watch it with me?
Husband:
I want to watch it with my friends.
Wife:
So I mean nothing to you?
Husband:
OK, OK. I am staying.
Wife:
Why is the goalkeeper in black?
Husband:
He is mourning his mother.
Wife:
The commentator how does he know all the names?
Husband:
It's his job.
Wife: There's a goal.
Husband:
No, it's an offside.
Wife:
What is offside?
Husband:
No, it's a goal. Just kidding.
Wife:
OK, but what is offside?
Husband: Offside is the name of the Coach.
Wife:
Where's the Coach?
Husband:
He is off the field.
Wife:
Why isn't he playing?
Husband:
No, he doesn't play. He changes the players and the game tactics.
Wife:
Tell me, is Maradona there?
Husband:
No, he dîed.
Wife:
Oh my God, how?
Husband:
He watched a game with his wife.
That's how the fight started.

 

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Whatever you do, try not to sneeze during sex.
Most couples don't like to discover that they're being watched!!.