Off Topic And Now for Something Completely Different

Looks like grifter Farage has had his right arm chopped off, as good a place as any to start.


The views expressed in my posts are not necessarily mine.

 

Probably the pint...

Cost him an arm AND a leg

 

He might have put it on his overdraft, fear not though, in a couple of years he can use his seventy odd grand EU pension to bring it down.


The views expressed in my posts are not necessarily mine.

 

When making the Wizard of Oz police had to be called to a hotel where a lot of the cast where staying. The Munchkin cast were drunk and fighting. They were actually rounded up with large butterfly nets. True story if not PC.

 

I have absolutely no time for greed...These people are all vipers from the same nest,irrespective of their political stance.

 

An 80-year-old man goes to a doctor for a check-up. The doctor tells him, “You’re in terrific shape. There’s nothing wrong with you. Why, you might live forever. By the way, how old was your father when he died?”

The 80-year-old responded, “Did I say he was dead?”

The doctor couldn’t believe it! So he said, “Well, how old was your grandfather when he died?

The 80-year-old responded again, “Did I say he was dead?”

The doctor was astonished. He said, “You mean to tell me you are 80 years old and both your father and your grandfather are both alive?”

“Not only that,” said the patient, “my grandfather is 126 years old, and next week he is getting married for the first time.”

The doctor said, “After 126 years of being a bachelor why on earth did your grandfather want to get married?”

His patient looked up at the doctor and said, “Did I say he wanted to?”

 

Why did grandad feel forced to marry this one, when he seemingly didn't feel inclined to marry grandma?

 

Christophalophados perchance?

 

Confession time. I have recently been on holiday in Europe and during one part of the holiday I was on a site where the toilets and showers were shared.
I identified a rude German from an earlier incident. To cut a long story short he entered the block and went for a crap. Foolishly he left his shampoo and shower gel by the sinks. I undid the cap on his shampoo bottle and pissed inside.
To make matters worse it was not the usual watery piss but dark and malty - the type you get in hot weather.
Anyway I have done my bit for Anglo - German relations and am pleased to have got that off my chest.

 

Nice work Vern but next time put some acid in his shampoo...That'll sort the bastard out

 

I'm not a moron, ****ing hell

 

You might wanna get a second opinion on that mate....

 

I refer the honourable gentleman to his comment on the grind your gears thread, not so much grinding gears though as...


The views expressed in my posts are not necessarily mine.

 

You're lucky he didn't finish quickly and catch you squatting.


The views expressed in my posts are not necessarily mine.