My friend asked me “what’s the secret to your happy marriage?” I replied, “chemistry. I’m on Valium and the wife’s on Prozac.”
To the woman who put her fingers up when I beeped at her . . . . your 'phone probably isn't on the roof of your car now !
Friends of mine have just had triplet girls . . . . one is blonde, one is a brunette and the other is ginger. They called them Faith, Hope and Carroty !
Being introduced to my girlfriend's dad and shaking his hand, I said "Great grip, Sir . . . . I see where she gets it from."
I went to the doctor for my medical and got sent to the urologist as a precaution. When I got there, I discovered that the urologist was a very pretty female doctor. The doctor says, "I'm going to check your prostate today, but this new procedure is a little different from what you are probably used to. I want you to lie on your right side, bend your knees, then while I check your prostate take a deep breath and say '99' " I answered as requested and said "99" The doctor says "Great . . . . now turn over onto your left side and again, while repeating the check, take a deep breath and say '99" Again as requested I said '99' The doctor said "Very good. Now I want you to lie on your back with your knees raised slightly. I'm going to check your prostate with this hand, and with the other hand I'm going to hold on to your penis to keep it out of the way. Now take a deep breath and say '99' " I said "One ... Two ...Three"
