Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

My wife is working where there is no internet so every week I send her my love in the post.
Apparently it nearly always leaks out of the Jiffy Bag before it gets there.

 

My dad once said to me that if you compliment a woman, they'll do anything for you.
So how come my wife isn't talking to me after I told her that our new blonde neighbour was well worth a f*ck?

 

I just poured superglue into a non-stick pan.
Somebody is going to be wrong

 

The Bayeux Tapestry has received an update.

 

I'm sweating like the McCanns taking a lie detector test.