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Jokes

Discussion in 'Leeds United' started by ellandback, Jun 25, 2019.

  1. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    I had a phone conversation yesterday with a very nice young chap from Pakistan. This is how it went:
    "Hello sir, how are you today?"
    "I'm very well, thank you for asking. And how are you? And, more to the point, WHO are you?"
    "Sir, my name is Sanjit, and I'm calling you from Microsoft".
    "Microsoft, eh? Is that a city in Pakistan? How's the weather there today?"
    " No, sir - MICROSOFT, the computer company. I'm calling to tell you that we have found a problem with your computer and -"
    "REALLY?? Well, that's quite concerning......"
    "Yes sir, it can become very serious indeed, but thankfully I will be able to fix it for you. Now, if you -"
    "No, I meant it's very concerning because you see I don't HAVE a computer".
    "You don't?"
    "I don't".
    "Ahh, it must be a problem on your laptop sir -"
    "Don't have one".
    "Ipad?"
    "Nope".
    "Tablet?"
    "Nope, I have none of those things. As a matter of fact, I don't even have a telephone".
    After a few seconds of silence he said "Ah, sir, you are lying to me now!"
    I said "Well, you started it!!" and put the phone down.
     
    #10841
  2. Poly

    Poly Well-Known Member

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    Or total control over the Jolly Green Giant.
     
    #10842
    Diego likes this.
  3. leeds down south

    leeds down south Well-Known Member

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    #10843
  4. OLOF

    OLOF Well-Known Member

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  5. oldschool

    oldschool Well-Known Member

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  6. Poly

    Poly Well-Known Member

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  7. Poly

    Poly Well-Known Member

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    rintintin
     
    #10847
  8. Brizzlewhite

    Brizzlewhite Well-Known Member

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    Are you passing coded directions to your agents?
     
    #10848
    Makemstine Roger likes this.
  9. 2020VisionofLeeds

    2020VisionofLeeds Well-Known Member

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    No
     
    #10849
  10. oldschool

    oldschool Well-Known Member

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    Didn't know it was this secure <doh>
    Screenshot_20250709-122512.png
     
    #10850
    Makemstine Roger likes this.
  11. Gessa

    Gessa Well-Known Member

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    It's not normally,its often left open
     
    #10851
    Makemstine Roger, Diego and OLOF like this.
  12. Poly

    Poly Well-Known Member

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    renten
     
    #10852
  13. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    please log in to view this image
     
    #10853
    Gessa and Diego like this.
  14. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    A recent accident in my dry cleaners has left me unable to have sex for at least 3 weeks
    They’ve fecked my balaclava up !
     
    #10854
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  15. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    My wife used to have an hour glass figure, but sadly the sands fecking shifted!
     
    #10855
    Diego likes this.
  16. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    please log in to view this image
     
    #10856
    Diego likes this.
  17. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    please log in to view this image
     
    #10857
    Diego likes this.
  18. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    please log in to view this image
     
    #10858
    stonkin, oldschool and Diego like this.
  19. 2020VisionofLeeds

    2020VisionofLeeds Well-Known Member

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    And none of them shave, either
     
    #10859
    Diego and **Hector ** like this.
  20. 2020VisionofLeeds

    2020VisionofLeeds Well-Known Member

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