In the spirit of Wimbledon fortnight I bought a punnet of strawberries and looked to the internet for the best way to serve them. It suggested that I halve the strawberries, dust with icing sugar, and pile cream on top. A word to the wise - pile cream tastes disgusting.
Two little known facts about the actor Yul Brynner. 1) he never in his life wore aftershave 2) he was a lifelong Liverpool fan. Yes, Yul never wore cologne.
I'm not saying my wife is ugly, but I've quit my job so I don't have to kiss her goodbye in the morning!
Just went into a shop and said, "Can I pay by card?" The cashier said, "No problem, what card do you have?" I said, "The six of spades!"
My wife is working where there is no internet so every week I send her my love in the post. Apparently it nearly always leaks out of the Jiffy Bag before it gets there.