For your viewing pleasure.

**** off baldy.

 

Happy Birthday, Sphincterini...

 

this and "**** off, speccy" are always good comebacks on here

 

Yep, because he was a ****ing idiot.









Ah, see what you did there. Very droll, yes, very droll.

 

Might be if your intended mark is bald ... but given I undoubtedly have one of the finest head's of hair on the entire site ... it's easily dismissed as the confused ramblings of a speccy sphincter plucker...

 

American Primeval - 9 out of 10

I love me a Western and this Netflix series was a total belter. I'd even go so far as to say it was better than Yellowstone 1883 which was also top notch.

The series follows the story of a woman and her son traveling to meet her Husband in the West amid the Frontier, Indian Wars and the expansion of the Mormons. If you like it muddy, gritty, bloody and violent this is the show for you! She has a dark secret and is being pursued by bounty hunters and mixed into this are threads of stories involving settlers, the Army, Natives and Jim Bridger who was one of the most famous and successful trappers and Mountain Men of the 1800s.

A few historical inaccuracies aside it was great fun. Great binge material. No rumpy pumpy or nudity hence not being 10/10

 

any barely legals?

 

No the boys were 8 and 9.

And it's utter ****.

-90,002/10

And that's being generous.

 

Yup loved it ... also loved 1883 ...

 

Yes if you like small boys which I don't. I might be a pervert but I'm not a poove.

 

Heads of State - 4/10

Idris Elbow and John Segna in a "comedy action drama" about the former being the Prime Minister of Britain (a negro? really?) and the other being an action film star turned President (it happened).

If felt like every other Netflix Kevin Hart or Ryan Reynolds movie, predictable with some car chases and plot as obvious as Jimmy Savile being a nonce.

Elbow looked like he was going through the motions and Segna just looked happy to be there.

If your missus decides to ditch Sky to save a couple of quid a month by getting peasant TV and the only thing you have to watch is Netflix then give this film a go but don't expect much. Main totty has got a decent set of tay tays but is Indian or something muddy looking, I'm sure some of you like that sort of thing.

 

Weirdly enough, I watched it last night, it was utter ****e. The acting, script and the story were abysmal, not sure how I managed to watch it to the end.

-347/10

 

What made it worse was the missus wasn't even watching it, she was on her phone. Picks the movie, doesn't watch the movie. Almost qualifies as a stand up routine, I might send off the idea to Jason Manford for him to include in one of his shows. A show that we will no doubt end up watching on the TV that doesn't have Sky and my missus will spend the whole time ignoring as she will be on her phone.

 

Issues there mate,is the "man cave" full?

 

...then they ask you tell them everything that happened in the movie.

Obviously, you make stuff up. Fuddy has made an idiot of herself repeating what I told her a movie was about to others more than once.

 

Gay porn is not something I'd discuss at a dinner party but that's just me.

 

****tah.