Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

A cockney lass, an Arab and a Romanian were drinking in a pub. The Arab finishes his alcohol free beer, throws his glass into the air, pulls out a pistol and shoots the glass into a million pieces. "In Arabia we have so much sand that our glasses are cheap and we need never to drink from the same glass twice".
The Romanian necks his drink, throws the glass into the air, pulls out his AK47 and blasts the glass into a million fragments. "In Romania, we make so many glasses that they are cheap, and we need never drink from the same glass twice."
The cockney lass downs her pint in one go, throws her glass into the air, pulls out a pistol and shoots the Arab and the Romanian, catches the glass and orders another pint. "In London we have so many fecking foreigners that we never need to drink with the same ones twice."

 

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So a fella walks into a pub with a biscuit tin and a mouse.
He says to the barman: "Watch this". He sticks the mouse on top of the biscuit tin and it starts dancing.
The barman says: "Blimey, how long does he dance for?"
"As long as you like," said the fella.
"I’ll give you £50 for it" says the barman.
"Sold," said the fella.
That night the fella gets a call from the barman. "How do we stop the mouse dancing, the tapping is driving us mad?"
The fella says: "Lift the lid off the biscuit tin and blow out the candle".

 

I had a phone conversation yesterday with a very nice young chap from Pakistan. This is how it went:
"Hello sir, how are you today?"
"I'm very well, thank you for asking. And how are you? And, more to the point, WHO are you?"
"Sir, my name is Sanjit, and I'm calling you from Microsoft".
"Microsoft, eh? Is that a city in Pakistan? How's the weather there today?"
" No, sir - MICROSOFT, the computer company. I'm calling to tell you that we have found a problem with your computer and -"
"REALLY?? Well, that's quite concerning......"
"Yes sir, it can become very serious indeed, but thankfully I will be able to fix it for you. Now, if you -"
"No, I meant it's very concerning because you see I don't HAVE a computer".
"You don't?"
"I don't".
"Ahh, it must be a problem on your laptop sir -"
"Don't have one".
"Ipad?"
"Nope".
"Tablet?"
"Nope, I have none of those things. As a matter of fact, I don't even have a telephone".
After a few seconds of silence he said "Ah, sir, you are lying to me now!"
I said "Well, you started it!!" and put the phone down.

 

I'm fed up with comments from people ridiculing EVs . . . . they don't know what they're talking about.
I have two top of the range EVs, a Jaguar and a Porsche, their acceleration and handling is fantastic, they look brilliant, and they're really cheap to run. They need hardly any maintenance and haven't depreciated since I bought them.
Literally the only criticism I could make of them is that sometimes, if I really push them into a corner, they can fly off the track and get stuck under the settee.