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Off Topic Jokes thread

Discussion in 'Portsmouth' started by devonFRATTONiser, Jan 25, 2015.

  1. devonFRATTONiser

    devonFRATTONiser Well-Known Member Forum Moderator

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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #36442
  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #36443
    Makemstine Roger likes this.
  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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  5. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #36445
  6. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #36446

  7. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #36447
  8. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #36448
  9. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #36450
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    The most fascinating thing about women's football is I'd say how the hell do you get 11 women to wear the same outfit
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    #36451
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  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    I had a phone conversation yesterday with a very nice young chap from Pakistan. This is how it went:
    "Hello sir, how are you today?"
    "I'm very well, thank you for asking. And how are you? And, more to the point, WHO are you?"
    "Sir, my name is Sanjit, and I'm calling you from Microsoft".
    "Microsoft, eh? Is that a city in Pakistan? How's the weather there today?"
    " No, sir - MICROSOFT, the computer company. I'm calling to tell you that we have found a problem with your computer and -"
    "REALLY?? Well, that's quite concerning......"
    "Yes sir, it can become very serious indeed, but thankfully I will be able to fix it for you. Now, if you -"
    "No, I meant it's very concerning because you see I don't HAVE a computer".
    "You don't?"
    "I don't".
    "Ahh, it must be a problem on your laptop sir -"
    "Don't have one".
    "Ipad?"
    "Nope".
    "Tablet?"
    "Nope, I have none of those things. As a matter of fact, I don't even have a telephone".
    After a few seconds of silence he said "Ah, sir, you are lying to me now!"
    I said "Well, you started it!!" and put the phone down.
     
    #36452
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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    I’ve started a dating site for chickens…

    …it’s not my main job. It’s just to make hens meet!
     
    #36453
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  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member Staff Member

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    #36454
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  15. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #36455
  16. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #36456
  17. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #36457
  18. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #36458
  19. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #36459
  20. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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