Wimbers

I count 12 geezers and 10 birds representing Britain in round 1.

 

3 geezers and 1 tart in the second round

Bring back Timothy Henwoman and Vagina Wader

 

I'm hoping this year Emma goes all they way. I'll be right behind her.

 

Hopefully if Sir Cliffy is there cheering her on she'll be Wired For Sound

 

This is Tim Henman’s year

 

Its the one you’ve all been waiting for, Raducanu will be playing with Mingge later on today, fellow Brit Mingge Xu that is

 

You could blindfold her with dental floss

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Emily Radyoukanu getting all excited over leading a 12 year old midget

Sad and tragic really.

 

You’ve never been the same since Laura Robson retired

 

Crowds on Raducanus ravine

 

Close: 1 geezer and 2 tarts in the third round.

 

The first time I attended Wimbledon was on a school trip back in the early 90s, when I was a teenager. It peed down all day and we saw no action whatsoever. Not a single serve to be seen.

Being heavily bearded and confident, I found refuge in the Pimm's tent. By the day's end I was drunk and skint, but I'd befriended a rather comely parigot by the name of Sandrine.

I made it back to the coach and slumped into my seat. A teacher, Mr Diack, came along carrying bundles of posters, which were a commiserations offering from the club. I got a signed picture of Jim Courier.

As for Sandrine, we exchanged letters for about a year. We even planned a meet in Dieppe. But enough of that.

I've been to Wimbledon since and seen much tennis. I even shook hands with Pat Rafter one year.

 

A school trip in the 90s? I take it you were also one of the teachers?

 

I was fifteen, thank you very much. I'm now an extremely virile 46-year-old. And I've never been a teacher.

Harumph!