My wife caught me p*ssing in the kitchen sink, and had a massive go at me. "You f*cking prick, that's so inappropriate!" she screamed. "Well so is washing the baby in there, but I don't have a go at you about that!" I shouted back. I think she realised she'd lost the argument because she didn't even reply. She just lifted the baby out of the sink and went upstairs!!.
We were so poor i had my 11th birthday party at the launderette. Played musical chairs and pass the Persil.
Just got this text:- Mate, you're not going to believe this, I've just won a competition on Radio 1 for a holiday to Greece! Got £2000 spending money and I can take 5 mates. I know it's short notice but if you're free from 1st July to the 15th , can you put my bin out? ****ER!