A young couple are on their way to Las Vegas to get married. Before getting there, the girl said to the guy that she had a confession to make. The reason that they had not been intimate was because she was very flat-chested. If he wished to cancel the wedding, it would be okay with her. The guy thought about it for a while and said he did not mind if she was flat, and sex is not the most important thing in a marriage. Several miles down the road, the guy turned to the girl and said that he also wanted to make a confession. He said that below his waist he was just like a baby, and if the girl wished to cancel the wedding, it'd be fine by him. The girl thought about it for a while and said that she did not mind and she also believed there were other things far more important in a marriage than sex. Both were happy that they'd been honest with each other. They went on to Vegas and got married. On the wedding night the girl took off her clothes and she was as flat as a washboard. Finally, the guy took off his clothes and one look at the guy's naked body made the girl faint and fall to the floor. After she came to, the guy asked, 'I told you before we got married, why did you still faint?' The girl said, 'You told me it was just like a baby.' The guy replied, 'Yes, eight pounds and 21 inches.
I was feeling horny and needed some relief. "Do you want to have sex?," I asked the wife. "No," she replied. You have no idea how relieved I was
James had smelly feet. They stank. In fact, they were so smelly and he was so embarrassed about them that he felt he would never be able to marry. Mary had a chronic case of halitosis. Her breath ponged. She was so self-conscious about it that she always held a handkerchief in front of her mouth. One day, James and Mary met. They began a courtship that progressed without either one of them knowing about the other’s problem. James never took his shoes off; Mary never took her handkerchief away from her mouth. They married. On their wedding night, James was in the bathroom. He had taken with him all manner of things to quell his smelly feet, and after scrubbing and deodorizing, it was Mary’s turn to use the bathroom. She was equally nervous and had brought with her an array of mouth fresheners and mints to sweeten her breath. Mary was in the bathroom when James remembered — to his horror — that he’d left his smelly socks in there. There seemed to be nothing left to do but confess to his smelly feet. Mary was thinking the same thing. “I must tell him about my condition now,” she thought. She opened the bathroom door and there stood James. “I have something I must tell you,” she blurted. “I know,” said James, getting a whiff of her breath that nearly made him pass out,… “You’ve eaten my socks.”
