A woman couldn't keep a boyfriend so she went to the doctor and told him. He said strip off and stand away with your back to the wall. She did this then he said, 'Now bend over and look at me through your legs. She did this and he said, 'You've got Zacharies disease' She said 'What's that' He said, 'Your face look Zachary like your arse'
So a fella walks into a pub with a biscuit tin and a mouse. He says to the barman: "Watch this". He sticks the mouse on top of the biscuit tin and it starts dancing. The barman says: "Blimey, how long does he dance for?" "As long as you like," said the fella. "I’ll give you £50 for it" says the barman. "Sold," said the fella. That night the fella gets a call from the barman. "How do we stop the mouse dancing, the tapping is driving us mad?" The fella says: "Lift the lid off the biscuit tin and blow out the candle".
