The it’s ok to not be ok thread

Typed out a long missive telling all, then decided you don't really need the specifics of why I feel my family and the world would be better off without me being here.

 

No @Draig that’s the whole point of this thread, get it off your chest my man, it’s ok to not be ok

us fellas have to be here for one another

It’s easy for everyone to dismiss the good 100 things you’ve done and focus on the 1 **** thing

human nature unfortunately

 

You might feel we don't need to hear it, though I'd bet you'd feel better saying it.
But i guarantee we would listen.

To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might be the world.

 

I said n another thread it’s been a tough month in our gaff. Father in law had a heart attack and spent a couple of weeks in hospital and the mrs was running backwards a d forwards to hospital every day. He’s sorted now thankfully. Stents and a pace maker fitted.

while this was happening my boss passed away due to cancer. He was diagnosed last January and he was managing the disease but it returned with a vengeance in February. He came in to see us during half term(I work in IT in a school) and he looked well. Following week he passed away. It was a shock to all of us and it just hit me like a ton of bricks with everything else that went on. Was a MLF and a season ticket. I’m hoping he was watching down on both play off games. Not afraid to say I shed a tear at the final whistle think this was for him. One more to go hopefully

 

Spill the beans mate - methinks the world and your family would feel it makes it a worse place. You're clearly a good bloke.

 

Seriously mate, they will not. Nor will we. If it's ****e for you now, maybe none of us here can come and sort it. But believe me now, believe others who say the same, you will have value in yourself, and value seen by others that will far exceed what you see yourself.

In other words mate, you will be loved. More than you know. Let them love you.

 

I have Generalised Anxiety Disorder. But i specialise in health anxiety. I cant even pick my nose or wipe my arse without my brain convincing me i have felt a lump. At times i cant look at my wife or daughter too much in case i think i see a lump bulging out of their necks. Pins and needles? Multiple Sclerosis! Migraine? Brain tumor! Been like this for nearly 30 years, its exhausting. Despite this ive managed to hold down the same job for 28 years. Its weird. When im alone i want people around me but when people are around me i want to be alone. I dont know where to put myself. Best way to describe it is its like having cancer of the mind. Had NHS help. Mixed results. I was sent to a weekly CBT class once for people who suffer from a wide range of anxieties. Panic attacks in shops, social anxieties etc. It was hosted in a function room at a fire station! The fire bell only went off once but when it did 2 started to cry and one ran out screaming!

 

Wow, thanks for sharing, that is exceptionally extreme and well done to you for keeping your **** together somewhat, it’s quite incomprehensible what you you’ve just shared

it backs up that we need to talk - well done

 

To the op, well done in starting this thread, it's never an easy subject, but it can be bloody hard to take that first step.

I'm posting a link (that hopefully works) to a post I made in Nov 2020. I'll didn't want to copy and paste it as it's a bit long.

I get why some are reluctant to talk, and it took me a long time to realise that I needed to. That was the first step, but the most important one. I cannot emphasise enough the support ive had on here, more than anyone will ever know.

ive had a lot more to deal with since that post in Nov 20, a lot more. But since then ive learned to deal with things better, by realising im not alone, and asking for help when i need it. Again, this place has been an absolute godsend for me. A bunch of strangers, on an online football forum, who would have thought it eh.

My daughter mentioned in the post below...well, she's now 24, just passed her driving test on 28th April, then on 8th May gave us our first Grandchild.
I couldn't be more proud of her.

Anyone struggling to talk, please have a read of my post in the link below. That post, just writing it down and then actually posting it, was the turning point for me.

Don't bottle it up lads,

https://not606.com/threads/s-a-f-c-the-future.385223/page-1018#post-14331129

 

I'd like to meet you some day Snaggey - awesome story and awesome job, PM me please, I have an idea....

 

Mods….could this be a pinned thread? We all agree that it’s important to talk about these things and I wouldn’t want it to slip away down the board. If it’s pinned it’s one that can be there in the forum consciousness and used as and when.

 

I can definitely relate to this!

There’s always a brighter future ahead

 

A bump for those who could’ve missed the thread

 

That's a very good idea, with all that's just happened I'm sure it will have bypassed people.

 

If anybody needs an independent view on your MH situation and/or any troubles in your life - recommend you go to your local Andy's Man Club. I'm going through a horrible separation/divorce, away from friends and family, and before and after Xmas - going to those meetings dragged me up from the lowest point of my life. I dread to think where i'd be without it - i was in a hole with no way out.

Its the anonymity which really helps, as there is only advice and listening, no judgement.

Good luck to all.

 

Recently diagnosed with bipolar and social anxiety. Possibly explains my erratic posting on here Also probably explains why I post so much on here because of the anonymity.

It's okay not to be okay.

 

I'm in an awful financial position at the moment. Does anyone recommend anywhere for advices or help?

 

I have generalized anxiety disorder, ADHD and severe social anxiety. The social anxiety has actually got worse with age. I'm 38 years old and a Director in a global role at a huge multinational firm but I struggle to speak to ANY strangers out of a work setting. I don't mean my career background to brag but to highlight that it affects everybody, even people who might appear to have it held together.

I used to manage my mental health through running and had run several marathons and was training for my first 100 mile ultramarathon 5 years ago when i developed a condition called Popliteal Artery Entrapment Syndrome. It's the condition that caused Kieron Brady to retire. It's extremely rare and essentially my calf muscle traps my main artery in my leg whenever I try to run. Not being able to run for 5 years when it was essentially my entire life and existence has plunged me into some very dark places and I've really struggled at times.

I've had four surgeries to try to fix the condition but none have worked. I went to see my surgeon yesterday and he has ruled out a 5th surgery saying it's too risky and I risk serious nerve damage, so I'm now back to square one and really feeling it.

I'm at my worst when I'm quiet at work. Which I am at the moment. Which explains why I spend so much time on here. And also explains why I do take some breaks from here.

The single best thing I've done for my mental health is bin twitter. Not being exposed to opinions of idiots.