I got sent out of class today at school for being too sarcastic. The teacher yelled at me, "What would your parents say if I called them?' I replied, "Hello?"
Thousands of kangaroos die on the road each year in Australia. This doesn't surprise me. I'd be shocked if their arms could even reach the steering wheel.
An undercover cop called at my farm in rural Dorset yesterday evening... “I need to inspect your farm for illegally grown drugs”, he said. “By all means officer, but don’t go in that field over there”, I replied. The cop exploded “Do you know who the f*ck I am? I have the authority of the government with me!” he said before pulling a badge out of his back pocket. “Do you see this f*cking badge? This badge means that I can do what I want and I’ll go wherever the f*ck I want. Have I made myself clear?” I nodded politely, apologised, and went about my chores. A short while later, I hear loud screams, looked up and saw the cop running for his life being chased by my angry bull. With each step, the bull was gaining ground and he seemed sure to be gored before he reached safety. The officer looked terrified and continued to run for his life. I threw down my tools, immediately ran to the edge of the fence and shouted at the top of my lungs, “Your badge . . . . show him your f*cking badge!”
