1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

JACK-ANORY FOR A FUNNY STORY - Joke Thread & Comedy Club

Discussion in 'Swansea City' started by swimaway, Jun 18, 2011.

  1. duggie2000

    duggie2000 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2014
    Messages:
    13,079
    Likes Received:
    18,397
    The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian War Party. The Indian Chief proclaims, "So, you are the great Lone Ranger...In honor of the Harvest Festival, YOU will be executed in three days. "Before I kill you, I grant you three requests. What is your FIRST request?'
    The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse."
    The Chief nods and Silver is brought before the Lone Ranger who whispers in Silver's ear, and the Horse gallops away.
    Later that evening, Silver returns with a beautiful blonde woman on his back. As the Indian Chief watches, the blonde enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night.
    The next morning the Indian Chief admits he's impressed. "You have a very fine and loyal horse. But I will still kill you in two days."
    "What is your SECOND request?"
    The Lone Ranger again asks to speak to his horse. Silver is brought to him, and he again whispers in the horse's ear.
    As before, Silver takes off and disappears over the horizon.
    Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise, Silver again returns, this time with a voluptuous brunette, more attractive than the blonde.
    She enters the Lone Rangers tent and spends the night.
    The following morning the Indian Chief is again impressed.
    "You are indeed a man of many talents, but I will still kill you tomorrow. What is your LAST request?"
    The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse...alone."
    The Chief is curious, but he agrees, and Silver is brought to the Lone Ranger's tent.
    Once they're alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears, looks him square in the eye and says,
    "Listen Very Carefully!!!
    "FOR...THE...LAST...TIME..."
    "BRING POSSE"
     
    #20001
  2. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    137,009
    Likes Received:
    255,533
  3. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    137,009
    Likes Received:
    255,533
  4. duggie2000

    duggie2000 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2014
    Messages:
    13,079
    Likes Received:
    18,397
  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    158,948
    Likes Received:
    293,513
    please log in to view this image
     
    #20005
    daimungeezer likes this.
  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    158,948
    Likes Received:
    293,513
    When I was young I was scared of the dark.

    Now when I see my electric bill I am scared of the lights....
     
    #20006
  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    158,948
    Likes Received:
    293,513
    I had an appointment with a fortune teller this morning.

    She told me a lot of money was coming my way.

    I left all excited and got run over by a Securicor van!
     
    #20007
    daimungeezer and swantastic like this.
  8. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2011
    Messages:
    21,629
    Likes Received:
    36,596
  9. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2011
    Messages:
    21,629
    Likes Received:
    36,596
  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    158,948
    Likes Received:
    293,513
    please log in to view this image
     
    #20010

  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    158,948
    Likes Received:
    293,513
    please log in to view this image
     
    #20011
  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    158,948
    Likes Received:
    293,513
    please log in to view this image
     
    #20012
  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    158,948
    Likes Received:
    293,513
    My local Chippy still wraps fish and chips in newspapers.

    Yesterday I got a Plaice in The Sun....
     
    #20013
    daimungeezer likes this.
  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    158,948
    Likes Received:
    293,513
    I was on a date last night and she said to me "I only slept with 3 guys before meeting you".

    I said "Bloody hell love, I was only half an hour late!".....
     
    #20014
    daimungeezer and swantastic like this.
  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    158,948
    Likes Received:
    293,513
    My friend sometimes puts her favourite chocolate bars in different wrappers.

    She got a bit mixed up yesterday and got her snickers in a twix.
     
    #20015
    daimungeezer and duggie2000 like this.
  16. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2011
    Messages:
    21,629
    Likes Received:
    36,596
  17. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2011
    Messages:
    21,629
    Likes Received:
    36,596
  18. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2011
    Messages:
    21,629
    Likes Received:
    36,596
  19. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2011
    Messages:
    21,629
    Likes Received:
    36,596
  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    158,948
    Likes Received:
    293,513
    please log in to view this image
     
    #20020

Share This Page