How did they approach this, exactly? "Well you were okay with pretending that player wasn't a rapist..."
*We interrupt this broadcast with an urgent announcement* DH's Awaydays is back with a Europa League final special broadcast! That's right, ladies and gents, somehow Tottenham Hotspur and Manchester United made a European Final! On this special episode, DH makes his fourth trip of the season to our very good friends over at RedCafe and a separate trip to UtdForum for a good ol' watchalong. PRE-MATCH: I’m going to start learning mandarin, because if we lose I’m out of here! 再见 Come on United. Don't be the team that let Spurs win their first trophy in nearly 20 years. Yeah that'd be embarrassing. Scared to say it but I think on the night Spurs will want it more… Oh you have no idea. So what is our best XI right now? The women's team? If they do win their first trophy in 17 years, I’ll have nightmares about it for the rest of my life. Better book in some appointments with your therapist, buddy! Without Maddison and Kulusevski, there's no excuse not to beat Spurs. Absolutely zero. Just me who’s woken up whistling the Europa theme? Is actually quite catchy, isn't it? Maguire, Mount and Shaw have all started a Euros final. Mount a CL final. Shaw a second euros final. Onana a CL final please log in to view this image Cas - enough said. We’ve got the experience….. We've got Cuti Romero. Let the p*ss boiling commence!!! Said Cristian Romero. Lads, it’s Spurs. Lads it's Spurs Lads... It is, it is indeed. We're definitely going to win and it will be quite comfortable. Happy pills truly are remarkable. Has anyone ever lost to Spurs 4 times in one season? We're about to find out! Spurs have no idea how to win a final. We'll try and figure it out... Imagine losing 4 times in a single season to Spurs Haha yeah, imagine! Garnacho will be on the phone to his agent to slap in a transfer request as we speak. Southampton, Leicester and Ipswich queuing up as we speak. Casemiro doesn't lose European finals lads. *For Real Madrid. All I know is Romero and VDV will bully the feck out of Rasmus. Titus Bramble could bully that oaf. It's Spurs and more often than not Spurs will do a Spurs, but it will just sum up United if the first game we lose in Europe will be the final. Unitedy... I couldn't care less about Champions League qualification, I want a trophy. Same... Same... I don't care about actually playing in UCL next year, no, but I sure as feck want the money for transfers that comes with it. So you can buy more Hojlund's, Maguire's and Onana's? Their high line should be meat and drink to Amad and Hojlund. Nothing is meat and drink for that poundland Vincent Janssen. They will always be bottlers. Often but perhaps not always. Hojlund starting is a scary thought. Player that’s really low in confidence starting at the biggest game of our season. You say scary, I say comical. Win this and we’ll be ready to do things in the transfer market others would only have nightmares about. ****ing right I'd have nightmares over the thought of signing Mount and Antony. I trust in Bruno. He'll rise to the occasion. Or fall... many times.... to the floor. I am not sure how we as a club and fanbase recover if we lose against Spurs. Countless hours in therapy will be required. Or excessive amounts of alcohol. We seem to have reserved our worst performances this season - and there have been some awful ones - for Spurs. The home game was one of the very worst I've ever seen. One more won't hurt then. Hope Hojlund really surprises everyone by scoring a few goals in the final. Hope Sydney Sweeney DMs me on Instagram. Call me crazy but I foresee a Højlund winner. Brother, crazy is a monumental understatement. Complete toss up for who will win this. We have the best player on the pitch (Bruno) and also the worst two (Hojlund and Onana) Does Cristian Romero play for Burnley or something? FIRST HALF: Hopefully Romero does something stupid like a red card or concede a pen Or drop a monster of a performance whilst having Maguire and your fanbase on strings. Casemiro gobbling up Spurs players like Pacman Thought he was looking quite podgy. What is Onana doing?! Only he knows. In fact, he probably doesn't know. Dorgu appears to be deaf. onana and shaw were both saying leave it. Realistically, who's going to be listening to those two? Onana terrifies me… Amuses me. I miss Martinez He's probably standing in front of you, just look down. Commentator just naming every black player and getting it wrong Well... this feels like deja vu! Brennan Johnson has the ultimate punchable face. If you think that now, just wait until about 40 mins time... Onana is ****...we need to sell him in the summer No one is parting with their hard earned money. Spurs definitely ahead on ****housing Our South Americans leading the charge in that. Richarlison is on a mission to kill amad. Yep, South Americans definitely leading the charge. Bruno needs to focus.. Having a very poor game and just shouting at ref If he actually put all his effort into playing football instead of moaning or diving, he'd probably be a Balon d'Or contender. Mount has been useless down the left Didn't need the last three words. *1-0 Johnson* Feck off And it's over Onana you are a joke!!! Calamity. Awful. Typical to come from Bruno giving the ball away in the middle of the pitch Thank you Bruno Losing a cup final to Spurs ffs Spursy... oh wait! Anyone but that rat faced little cnut JOHNSON AGAIN Oh it had to be Johnson didn't it? JOHNSON AGAIN Gonna lose this to Brennan fecking Johnson and Spurs - christ what a time to be alive. JOHNSON AGAIN, OLE, OLEEE! SECOND HALF: Hojlund actually had a lot of time to decide what to do but heads it like a defender clearing. Maybe try him in defence, striker ain't for him. Bring on Garnacho!! Said no one ever. Richard’s son is a cnut. Autocorrect having a blinder there. Might as well be the U11 blind amputees hojlund still won’t score Ouch. Luke fecking Shawarma superb. Fortunately, Solanke has been watching Hojlund videos So that's why he had a stinker, makes sense now! *Romero being Romero* Romero is an odious cnut Romero is such a cnut Romero is such a prick, jesus. Romero is such a wind-up Inject it. *van de Ven off the line* Amazing defending What a clearance That was a sign. We aren't winning this. Amazing clearance to be fair Of course there is a goal line clearance Micky doing Micky things. Finally Hoilund is off. Hopefully never see him again Rest of football certainly do. PSG vs Inter will struggle to match the spectacle of tonight Has a lot to live up to that's for sure. Did maguire just get head butted in the box? Did the person survive? *Vicario save in added time* Vicario showing Onana how it's done. Great save Our GK wouldn't have saved that State the bleeding obvious, mate. POST MATCH: Hey but at least the vibes in our pre-match press conference were better than theirs And that's what truly matters. *RE Amad's drop in quality in the second half* Richarlison just had to shove him a couple of times and that was it. He disappeared and didn't reappear even after Richarlison went off. Very disappointing. It's no secret I'm hardly a Richarlison fan but this is something I love in players, it's dark/ naughty but to give you a greater chance of winning games, you need to bully the opposition's best players, make them uncomfortable and scared and Richarlison done that brilliantly with Amad after the youngster initially started very brightly. Let's not kid ourselves, we are set up for relegation next year Now that would be popcorn-worthy. Doesnt feel like spurs really did much in the game Except win it... Never want to see Shaw, Onana, Hojlund and Amorim again. One more chance is all we ask. Retire your stupid ‘lads it spurs’ meme, because that’s another proud record pissed all over. All good things come to an end, eh? Bottled a European final to Tottenham hahahaha. This will live on in legend for decades As it should. They did nothing but play like a prime Atletico Madrid. Grafted hard and ****housed? I'll take it! Ironically Postecoglou completely ditched his 'ange ball' and it worked. Take note, Anti-Ange-Ball is the way forward, Ange. Players I want out asap (just my opinion): Onana, Shaw, Malacia, Maguire, Lindelof, Dalot, Casemiro, Mount, Hojlund, Sancho, Rashford, Antony, Zirkzee. So more or less everyone? Have a look at Maguire here, the silly @#%&!. Still fuming at romero, he's absolutely had him on strings all game. Beautiful. When Dark Arts is done right, it's spectacular. Yeah this team needs to find a few ****houses from the same school as Romero or Richarlison because we are weak when it comes to a battle Romero graduated with a PhD from El Sergio Ramos Academia. We out bottled Spurs Congrats, beaten at our own game. I think Spurs will get ripped to shreds in the Champions League tbh. At least we're in it! So have the Instagram apologies started yet? You know: “not the performance we wanted tonight - thanks to the fans for all your support. We go again…” Glad we ain't the only team that has to deal with that ****e on Insta 75:25 possession, 16:3 shots, 6:1 on target, 3:0 big chances. How the hell we lost this? In short; Onana in goal and Hojlund up top. Oh and JOHNSON AGAIN, OLE, OLEEEE! Today has been a fecking awful day. Speak for yourself. Let my son stay up till 10 watching that ffs Reported for child abuse. I read skysports player ratings out of curiosity and Romero has a 9 and Van de Ven an 8. Bruno has a 4 and Casemiro has a 5.... Romero only got a 9? Piss take. Hope Spurs keep hold of Postecoglou. Hope Utd keep hold of Amorim. Will be forever known as the Mate final
I admire your dedication. Some of us kept our mouths firmly zipped. But I can now say - 1-0 to the Tott-en-ham
He's actually started three European finals now, including one against Man Utd. He's lost them all. Great experience to call upon. He was also on the PTSD-inducing end of Moura's hat-trick.
Frenkie de Jong brought it up after Inter put Barca out in injury-time the other week. He was asked when he thought he'd get over the feeling of losing to Inter. His reply? "I don't know. I still think about the 2019 semi-finals with Ajax. I think this will last forever."
I know in the scheme of things it doesn't matter, but does anyone think UEFA were right to give our goal to Johnson. I'm glad they did but that looked a Luke Shaw own goal to me all day long.
