A touching moment in Cash Converters yesterday after local lad Neil Down pawned his Mum’s dialysis machine, bought a sterling silver cubic zirconia-which is thought to be an original from the Elizabeth Duke range at Argos and then proposed to his long term girlfriend of 3 weeks!
The wife was breast-feeding in the Asda restaurant this morning, and suffered some nasty abuse. "Can't you do that somewhere private? It's f*cking disgusting!" a woman complained. "Why can't you mind your own business?" I glared at her, wiping milk off my chin.
For a couple of months now, I've been getting to know a very friendly young lady who insists on calling me every evening for a chat. Earlier today, I plucked up the courage to ask her if I could masturbate to the sound of her sexy voice. I think that's the last time I'll get a call from Anglian Windows.
You can always tell if a man masturbates a lot by looking at his hands . . . . if you look closely you'll see a wedding ring.
