Vicario and Kinsky both get injured during the warm-up, Austin comes on as GK, and saves a penalty to win the game. < As if ... >
After the Basque Country declares independence from Spain the night before, UEFA hastily moves the final to Rotterdam, but both teams and all the fans turn up in Bilbao. When the final can’t be played, UEFA declare the competition null and void. No trophy is awarded and no team receives a Champions League place. Seeing this as unfair to English teams and then applying typically contorted logic, the PL decides that English teams are disadvantaged in Europe by playing too many games and decides to immediately reduce the PL to 18 teams by relegating the teams who have finished the season in 16th and 17th place.
Most of the Spurs team come down with food poisoning at the most critical point in their season, and lose the final. oh.. hang on.
We score a goal (something we ain't done in our last 4 finals) and keep a clean sheet something we have done once in our last 10 finals. The man utd pundits are graceful in defeat, Bruno offers the sincerest of congratulations and the Man Utd fans stay and watch Son lift the trophy. Ange then starts a fight with all the reporters while drinking a can of XXXX and resigns on the spot saying "it's who I'm mate" as he dives into the crowd of delirious spurs fans screaming at them "boo me now you pommie bastards" ...he then lifts his shirt to reveal the following message to Nuno, Conte, JM, Pochettino, AVB, Nice but dim and Redknapp... "You useless ****ers" When Levy comes onto the pitch to hug him he drop kicks him on the left testicle, and as kane waves on his support from the stands he turns and and spends him a ****er wave before taking a dump on the centre spot and walking off into the warm Spanish night humming "when I was a little boy my mother bought me a little toy"
It is 0-0 with 10 seconds of extra time to go. Man Utd's two worst penalty takers deliberately stage an exchange of blows and get red cards. The scores are level after 9 penalties each but Utd then get to reuse their best two takers while our 11th choice misses. Utd win the trophy but IFAB announce a change in the rules for the following season that players who are red carded are deemed to have missed their penalties so Spurs are the only club to suffer this injustice.
into a mob of ETA rabid fanatics, who deem that act to be a gross public insult to the Euskadi cause.
Before the match each of the players is given a gift from one of the sponsors, and engraved on each and every one of them is the message "Whinge about this in a book and I will break your ****ing legs"
It turns out that Don Paratici has been on the phone with UEFA all day, and we're just waiting on Fabrizio Romano to say Europa league to Spurs HERE WE GO please log in to view this image
Outlandish if you consider how Spurs played earlier in the season. But if you analyse Utd’s weaknesses, then failing to threaten teams who defend deep and in numbers is a constant theme. Outlandish that Spurs should play like that given Ange’s approach earlier in the season, but far from outlandish tactically. He obviously thought that if we’re 1-0 up, we can hold on to that with a first choice defence and two defensive midfielders.
