My wife knows nothing about football. l asked her if she rated George Best, and she said that she preferred Zippy and Bungle !
I'm searching for someone to help with milking cows on my dairy farm . . . . must be a team player and work well with udders !
I went to the funeral of the inventor of Optrex today . . . . there wasn’t a dry eye in the house ! Have I reached new depths yet
I went into a shoe shop this morning and asked to see a pair of loafers . . . . the salesperson brought down the general manager and the accountant !
A prostitute starts her first day on the game and was told by her pimp "No sex for the first 7 days . . . . only ****s." She asked "Why only ****s ?" He replied "Rules . . . . you've got to work a week in hand."
A boy comes home from school and tells his dad that he had just had sex with his teacher. His dad is quite proud of the lad and tells him that he'll buy him a bike. The boy says "I'd rather have a football because my bum is still sore."
