Only in Ipswich I swear!! I have just been to the shell garage for petrol and I've seen 2 police were watching a woman who was smoking while filling her car up. I thought, is she stupid, crazy, or both, especially with the police standing RIGHT there?! . I minded my own business put 30 quid in and went inside to pay. As I was paying I heard the crazy bitch screaming!! I’m talking violent death screams! I looked outside and I saw that this woman's arm was on fire!!!! She was swinging her arm, running around. I ran outside, the police had the woman on the ground and they were putting the fire out!! Then they put handcuffs on her and put her in the police car. I was a bit shocked, couldn't believe they arrested her, surely she ought to be in an ambulance, not a police car? Me being nosey as I am, I asked the policeman what they were arresting her for. He looked at me, dead serious, and said, "WAVING A FIRE ARM”!!
An old man goes to a bar and asks for a large brandy.. "Problem?, asks the barman. "Well, I just got two Thai women to go to be with me, and I thought I had won the Lottery and I was right. We had six balls between us"
A prostitute starts her first day on the game and was told by her pimp "no sex for the first 7 days, only ****s" She asked "why only ****s"? He replied, "union rules, you gotta work a week in hand"
Boy comes home from school and tells his dad he has just had sex with his teacher. His dad is quite proud of the lad and says he'll buy him a bike. The boy says he'd rather have a football because his bum is still sore.
