I'm not using Amazon anymore. I ordered grain for my chickens . . . . but after I got it they sent an email asking for my feedback !
I was in a queue today at the newsagents and there was a little girl wanting to buy a cream egg and it was the last one. She offered it to the rest of the queue but everyone refused. The egg was 70p but she only had 48p. "It's my favourite and they taste really nice she said " The shopkeeper replied " sorry but it costs 70p" So I stepped forward and paid for the egg. She was right....... it tasted really nice.
All women do is f*cking moan. First my wife bollocked me for nicking 50 quid out of the kid's copper jar and then a prostitute went mental when I paid her in 2p's and 5p's.
I heard my wife screaming in the bedroom. I ran upstairs to see a small spider on the wall. Relieved, I chuckled to myself and hit the b*stard with a rolled up newspaper, then I killed the spider.
Bought a can of fly spray from the supermarket today. ........ Sprayed it all over myself. I still cant f*cking fly.
